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Monday, July 21, 2014

10 Tips to Staying Positive From an Ex-Pessimist


I'll admit I haven't always been the most positive person in the world, I mean when my friends see this post they're going to think "really?!" (see what I mean?). Nonetheless, as I'm growing older I'm slowly realizing how important it is to stay positive. Sometimes that's all you really have when it comes to facing the many challenges that life will throw your way. A good friend once said to me: "If you change your thoughts, feelings and behavior will follow". I'm not saying it's going to be an overnight thing, you have to slowly train your mind to see the good in every situation when your first instinct is to exaggerate the bad. I will say, it's worth it because the world is all about perspective. We can choose to see the bad 24/7 and make ourselves miserable or we can choose to accept that life is short and we deserve to be happy even if things aren't always going our way.


#1.) Surround Yourself With Good People - When I mean "good" I mean people who are always going to make you laugh no matter what and help you to forget your problems. Not people who make you remember how many problems you have! Trust me, toxic friendships are not worth it in life yet we still allow ourselves to be around those types of people. It took me years to break off friendships with people that I didn't even like and people who made me feel horrible about myself simply because I didn't want to be alone. Sometimes it's better to be by yourself than to feel alone in a huge group of so-called "friends".

#2.) Everything You Go Through, Grows You - When you're a perfectionist like I am, you consider failure to be your greatest enemy. Nothing hurts more than some good ol' failure or so I thought. We will all learn eventually that failure is ALWAYS, NO MATTER WHAT beneficial to us. We have to go through it in order to learn and better ourselves. Just a few months ago I failed my math class that I was only taking 2 days a week at college. I was miserable and blamed myself for hours until I had a revelation: how else would I have realized that I shouldn't be taking math classes twice a week when it's my worst subject?

#3.) Stop Comparing Yourself To Others...Especially On the Internet - We live in a world where we share moments of our lives on a constant basis. From Instagram to Twitter, people have a tendency to brag about how "amazing" their lives are and as a result people who read their status updates or see their photos might feel something lacking in their lives. Realistically, you're not lacking in anything! You don't need material things like big houses and fancy cars in order to feel secure, you're more than enough just being you! The only people who are lacking in this case is the people who feel the need to brag about their success on social media. Stay humble and let the success do the talking for you.

#4.) Remember That Pain is Temporary - We all have scars that life has given us and as sad as this sounds, there will be more painful moments to experience. You have survived once, and you will survive again. It may feel like the end of the world when it is experienced but just know that pain is temporary. It will eventually subside and it is usually replaced with something better: wisdom and strength. The bright side is for every dark night that we go through in our lives, there's a better day. Try to remember those better days more than you remember what has happened to you in the past.

#5.) It's the Little Things - I know, I know it's cliche but a post on being positive is nothing without mentioning this. Think of all the things that make you feel better instantly, such as a nice cup of coffee or coming home from a long day of school and taking a nap. We're so focused on the bigger things in life that we never take the time to notice how much the little things mean to us as well.

#6.) Always Be Grateful - Another cliche one but out of all these tips, I believe this one is the most important. I've noticed my perspective on the world dramatically changed once I realized how lucky I was compared to other people. I have a home to come to every night, I have a family that cares about me, I'm fortunate enough to go to college, and the list keeps going on and on. These things may seem "normal" to us and something that everyone "should" have but in reality not everyone is fortunate enough to have these things. Still not convinced? Watch the news and get a glimpse at all the tragic things that go in this world and imagine yourself experiencing those events.

#7.) Get Moving - For some odd reason, the most relaxing part of my day is when I go to the gym and completely exhaust myself. I not only do it for the health benefits, but to also improve my mind. Some days it may feel like a chore to go to the gym, but I have never regretted a workout because it always puts me in a better mood at the end. Of course there are other ways to get the endorphin rush aside from going to the gym: go on a nice walk, play tennis with a friend, or ride your bike on a scenic trail. The possibilities are endless with this one as long as you remember one thing: headphones in, negativity out.

#8.) Give Back - Speaking of things I never regret, I have never regretted helping someone in need. There is only a small list of things in this world that can make you richer (trust me, I know I study finance!) and giving back is one of them. There's always someone in need so go out and find them. Charity work isn't just something that happens around Christmas time, many people need the help all year round. Trust me, it's appreciated plus you'll feel grateful in the process so that's two ways of being positive in one!

#9.) Learn to Say "No" - I see many people struggling with this one on a day to day basis yet still don't understand that they're not living their lives the way they want to simply because they haven't learned how to say "no"! You only got one life with a very limited amount of time in it and you have no idea when it's going to end so do you really think it's worth it to be living it for other people? 

#10.) Stop Taking Everything Seriously - I never realized how sensitive I was to every bad thing that happened to me until I started working a part-time job. I remember my first job was at the airport and my first week was a complete disaster filled with customers that didn't make things any better. Once I even came home crying because of the way I was treated by a customer who convinced me that I was nothing more than a "pathetic employee". Now I look back on it and think why did I waste so much time and energy on random people that I never saw again?


Well that's about it, I hope you enjoyed this post and let me know some of your tips to staying positive!

Until next time lovelies, 

-Ruya
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